I've returned to this question,because it's something I've been debating.

I don't link my own addiction to mental illness,because initially and for some years I was just gambling a couple of pounds a week like many ordinary people do.i never thought about it too much.

I blame the need to do it on the simple fact that later when I bought scratch cards I got an instant buzz out of it and gradually bought more,till it became a 'bad habit'.

Once a habit is established it's not easily broken!

I sometimes feel very 'devil may care' about buying tickets.Possibly because I've had cancer and feel my mortality.

Sometimes I buy them just for the heck of it.

Sometimes I want see if I can control the amount I buy.

Some times it's stress related

I must try to be more aware of these triggers.

Am worried that I may have messed up Amanda's blog on the Gambling addiction site.I think I replied or commented in the wrong place and I'm wondering why all my replies still say edit - reply.Oh hell,I hope not!

A lot has been said about the effects of gambling and how to counteract the compulsion to do it.

* Hobbies
* Running/ jogging
* Meditation

I already have several hobbies but they are fairly passive like art,reading,gardening etc.They are good distractions but maybe I should get back into meditation and sports activities.

Although I haven't managed to conquer my addiction yet,when I relapsed today I noticed a strong urge not to go too far.The little voice in my head that's usually ignored was listened too,which is encouraging.

All I've done so far are on- line are banking and e- mails and that's made using this site properly quite difficult,but I think I'm getting to grips with it slowly.

I was quite determined to give giving up a go and did well for about 5 days but relapsed today.

I have forgiven myself for this because it's been an emotional time.My brother and I have been trying to work out a workable way of sharing out responsibilities.re.my mothers care.We finally came up with a good plan and I feel a lot more relaxed, and hopeful about everything now.