I have been struggling with compulsive gambling for approximately seven years. What started as a simple dinner date in a restaurant inside a casino has turned into a nightmare. I've had conventional therapy as an outpatient. This did not really help. I have done some research and found that hypnotherapy could be very helpful. According to the study I read, hypnotherapy has helped many people with addictions, including gambling. This makes a great deal of sense to me since I know addictions are very related to the subconscious mind. For example many times, in the past I would get ready to go buy groceries(and at a conscious level I had not been thinking anything related to gambling) and like magic I would end up in the casino. The point that I'm trying to make is that science has proven that addictions take a hold of a person in a very subconscious way. As a result, I feel, it's only wise to treat the subconscious. For example,
I always mean to do the right thing but I end up doing the wrong thing. Then, what is controlling me? Not my conscious mind.
I will be starting with a hypnotherapist withing a couple of days. I'm really hoping that this helps me win the war with this awful monster that is pathological gambling. I have never had any other addictions in the past, not to alcohol, not to drugs. Although, I come from a very dysfunctional home. Being neglected and/or abused as a child fits the mold for many, many addicts.
As a gambling addict, I've never had inpatient treatment. I have no medical insurance or money to pay for a rehab at this time. I have checked around and most rehab institutions want around 12k dollars for four weeks. Instead, what I'm going to do this time is to make my own program. I'm starting with the hypnotherapist. I'm going to try to do that at leat twice per week. I also have started to work out. This feels great. I try to do fastpaced walking 30 minutes at least five times per week. The feeling that I get after exercising is great not only at a physical level but at an emotional, mental level as well. I love to dance. Both my boyfriend and I are pretty good dancers. I can dance to many different types of rhythm, but not tango. I love tango music and dancing. I'm going to try to start taking tango dancing lesssons. Tango is passionate, sophisticated and fun! Perhaps, I can make tango my passionate hobby!
Although, like I said before I have relapsed many times in the past. I feel very positive this time about staying in track. Something feels different. I cann't exactly put it into words. Other than I don't think this time around I'm deceiving myself as I have so many times in the past. This time I really, passionately, want my life back. There are so many things I want to do. Trips I want to take. Friends I want to see.
Although I have been dancing with the devil for about seven years now. This next dance is for me. Only for me! And I'm going to chose the rhythm and the song!