I had a difficult childhood, growing up in a small city made me the target of bullying from elementary school till highschool, for the sole reason of being different, because I was chinese. It was something that at the time was very difficult to understand, but thankfully I was able to get out of it by highschool as I finally met some people that accepted me for what I was.
Although I got out of being bullied, it still left scome scars, and with my father, whom I considered as my role model, dying for a hereditary disease while I was in fifth grade, middle school were troubling times, being constantly depressed I've even tried to commit suicide, but failed, as I wasn't able to reach overdose through medicinals.
The rest of my story till my addiction is pretty much uneventful, as I was never able to really be the protagonist of my own life, having always difficulties with socializing and especially relationships, I've always felt like a background character, living my life through the adventures of others, I've always been the sidekick, maybe this is what led me to what I'm facing now.
The start of the addiction:
I've always known that gambling is bad, during my whole life I've always been warned, countless stories of people losing everything, I still don't fully understand how I have reached this new low in my life, but what I ultimately know is that I've done the greatest mistake of my entire life.
My family was never really poor, certainly we had some financial issues after my father's death, but my mother always did her best so me and my sister would never miss anything essential. Her efforts were certainly repaid by my sister, who's currently working successfully an amazing future carreer in front of her, but it was all wasted on me, as greed blinded me, as I tried to find a shortcut to success.
It all started since I've entered an university away from my hometown, having to be indipendent, my mother gave me an allowance each month that I could freely use for my monthly expenses, and that's when It all started, through my passion of soccer, I first placed small bets, and from then on it all spiraled to what I'm facing now.
All of the winnings, that weren't even comparable to what I lost, just blinded me from understanding what I was doing, I was drunk with the feeling of being finally for the first time the protagonist of my own story, the one that was deciding his own destiny, that was all I needed to not see what I was doing and how much money I was losing, and every time I understood the loss that I was facing the only way I could think of compensating was through further bets.
The exact amount of this fundraising campaign is my college fund, that I lost all through a spiral of bets and desperation.
I'm a horrible human being, now that I've told you my story I want to specify that nothing, not one thing that happened to me excuses what I've done, but I know that no matter how lowly I think at the moment of myself, nothing is going to make up for what I've done, That's why I'm starting this campaing, this my last resort, I have nothing left that could even nearly compensate for the amount of money I have lost.
I know that I don't deserve it, I don't even deserve what I already have, but if you have something, anything you could spare to save me, not only from myself, but from what I could only call the hell on earth that is gambling addiction, please help me with the campaign, and tell others about my story.
Thank you very much, no matter if you've decided to help me or not, for dedicating some time for reading my story, hope that in the least I can be a cautionary tale for betting.
ps: the picture I've put for the campaign was just share with you is just a moment of simple and pure happiness that I never appreciated. I had a few in my life, but only now I really appreciate what I ultimately lost by my own doing.