Is My Life Beginning or Ending?


I am a 27 year old female from Canada who has just admitted to having a gambling addiction problem. I took it upon myself to get help after saying that I will for the last 3 months. I have been gambling for the last 2 years but very heavily for the last 8 months. I started going out more, spending more and betting higher. After losing more than enough money I knew that it was time for me to get help before things get worse.

I called the Gambling Hotline Services toll free number on April 1st, 2005 and spoke to a certified nurse who told me that someone (An addiction Counselor) would be calling me on Monday April 4th or Tuesday April 5th. I was excited and also felt relieved. I thought that I was on my way to recovery and a better life and not broke! I didn't touch the VLTs since.

Tuesday night came along and there has been no call from anyone. SO what did I do? I went out after work and played the VLT (Video Lottery Terminals). I talked myself into doing it by saying that no-one cared and no-one was willing to help me. Then after losing all my money I came home and called the number again. I yelled at them and told them that it was their fault because they didn't care enough to call me. After calming down the nurse promised that she would have someone call me first thing in the morning.

To my surprise, I got that phone call that I was waiting for. I was happy and spoke to the gambling counselor. She told me that the earliest that I could get in was April 25th so of course I agreed. Then I got off the phone and I thought to myself that's almost 3 weeks from now. Well, should I send the counselor the bill of the money that I lose in the meantime? Addicted gamblers will use and find any excuse to gamble as long as it wasn't their fault. I am hoping that I can survive for the next 3 weeks until help is ready. Where is the help for some people when their body and souls are screaming out for It? So for that reason I am seeking additional help in the meantime and look to my friend, the Internet.

Penny.

The one who is supposed to only be beginning her life but somehow feels as though it is ending.
Penny,

Your life is only beginning, you have a whole lifetime of positive things to experience. While you are waiting go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting here is the link for the meetings in Canada: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirCAN.html

You have already made the first step in admitting you have a problem and when you go to the Gamblers Anonymous meeting you will realize that you are not alone. I wish you the best.

Paulie D.
It's been 4 days, 4 days of which I am proud of. It might not be a lot to others but it's surely a start for me.
Look at it as your gambling life is ending. And your new life without it is beginning. Close the book on that part of your past - bury it and move into your new beginning for a brighter future.
Good advice there.

Start writing your "story" as you want it to be.

Everyday (even every second) brings the opportunity of a new beginning where you can chose how you want your "story" to "read"

LindaH ---
Life is a riddle; unfortunately the answers's not written on the back of anything.
Congratulations, you are on the road to recovery but we are all just one bet away from going back to the insanity. Please take it one day at a time.

Paulie D.
You guys are going to think that I am nuts but I put myself to the test last night! I went out with my gambling buddy to a bar from 10pm to 1:30 am. I was sitting in front of my favorite machine ( VLT'S), I went out to see if I could resist the urge and not play the machines. I did it!

It was hard but i just thought of the positive things like not losing money, not getting frustrated, not being broke and walking away with the money that I went there with. My friend felt bad for me as I watched her but I felt excited that I was doing it. After watching her lose $180.00 I felt even better ( sad for her though). The best part was when I got home and I had money in my pocket and wasn't broke. I did spend $5.99 but that was on a appetizer..lol..Maybe I shouldn't have done that but I also told my mother and fiance what I did and after calling me nuts they praised me which meant a lot coming from them!. But as everyone says and I do truly believe ; One day at a time.

scsatgirl
Great job scsatgirl, sounds like a big night for you, weird kinda,putting together big night and casino without playing at all. keep up the great job and yes one day at a time