NEW TO THE SITE


MY NAME IS D AND MY HUSBAND IS A COMPLULSIVE GAMBLER. I AM AT MY WITTS END. HIS GAMBLING IS OUT OF CONTROL. I STARTED GOING TO MEETINGS FOR FAMILY MEMBERS WITHOUT HIM WHICH MADE ME UNDERSTAND THE ILLNESS A LITTLE BETTER BUT NOT COMPLETELY. HE STARTED GOING TO THE PROGRAM WHICH WAS A 6 WEEK PROGRAM SPONSORED BY THE GOVERERNMENT. HE QUIT AFTER GOING FOR THREE WEEKS. HE TOLD ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT HE WOULDNT GO ANYMORE BUT EVEN THOUGH HE OWES A FREIND $1500 AND A PAY DAY SERVICE $2000 AT THE MOMENT (THOUSANDS IN THE PAST THAT IVE PUT ON MY C.C.) I FOUND HIM AT THE CASINO 2 WEEKS AGO. I JUST HAD ENOUGH. I MADE HIM MOVE OUT THAT NIGHT. NOW HE WANTS ME TO GIVE HIM BACK EVERYTHING HE HAS GIVEN ME. HE ALSO TEXTS ME TO TELL ME HE WANTS SEX. WHEN I TELL HIM NO HE GETS REALLY ANGRY. IM JUST REALLY CONFUSED HE SAYS HE LOVES ME BUT YET HE WONT GIVE UP THE 1 THING HE LOVES TO DO (GAMBLE). MY MARRIAGE TO HIM IS MY 2ND AND I REALLY FEEL LIKE A FAILURE, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT IVE DONE EVERYHTING IN MY POWER TO MAKE OUR LIFE WORK. IM LOST, D


Hopeless situation

No offense, but he doesn't really sound like a great guy. If he commits to changing, you might go back, but until then, he is a sinking ship. If you want to stay with him, make a very concrete plan for how you can fix your finances and other problems, and discuss it with him. And have him ban himself from the casino.

Your plan should be the kind that you can look at every week and say "yes, we are on course" or "we need to do better on this". He cannot be given very much freedom in the short run, because he will find ways to spend any extra time or money gambling. If you can keep him on a leash like this for a very long time (I've heard that it takes 5 years to really get over the gambling addiction), then you can fix things. But he has to be as committed to it as you, which doesn't sound like it will happen.