Failed again


Hi, I lost myself again. I lost C$10,000 again. I can't believe my behavior and the amount. So I am feeling to kill myself. I can't breathe when I remind the amount and my action. I have attended twice the meeting for gambling problem by provincial government. It helped. But it didn't block up my mind to go casino. Dec. 27 and 28, I won $2400. And I started to lose money from Dec. 29. I think I have many problems in my personality. I just can't stop or give up. I was tracking and chasing the slot machine to to win against the machine and the casino. As I mentioned we have 8 casinos in the city. Always I have lost money from the specific casino. So I wanted to win this time, but I became a loser again. And I moved to other casino. And I lost again. Now I lost total more than C$9000. Should I stop and give upthe money? Now everybody knows I cancelled the voluntarily self exclusion program. I am very confused still. Do I have serious problem in my personality or is those the truth of Casino to lose money always and more money by addiction or the intention to recover the lost money? I am stupid and I was just ordinary person including not-rich.The casino eventually kill me and my family. And all blame for the disaster will go to me because I didn't listen to the right people's words.

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hello harry..sorry to say
Submitted by challis on Mon, 2007-01-01 17:22.

hello harry..sorry to say your situation is no better,or worse than other gamblers,only difference in my opinion is you may have more money to loose than some,but to a millionare your losses are small so lets say your in a deep hole,i have only my own casino experince to go buy,which was loosing 20 k over time,and i cannot say i wont gamble again,becouse being in action is a drug like any other chemical,i guess.having not tryed drugs .if its any help i stopped when i thought theres no way of getting back my losses,as betting 2 k at a time will dig me a bigger hole,and i tried...read through peoples posts and blogs as there so much experince here on encognitive.com,,,for your familys sake dont harm yourself,.........as thats a long term answer to a short term problem.......all the best challis

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scotty555's picture
Get help Harry
Submitted by scotty555 on Mon, 2007-01-01 22:57.

Harry,

You remind me of myself...happy when I am winning and miserable and embarrassed - depressed when I lose money I cannot afford to lose. Get help -- stop gambling -- you cannot win -- even when you win some -- eventually you will give it back and more. I am hoping for you -- don't hurt yourself...just be a man and stop. We are with you!

Scotty

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Thank you
Submitted by Harry on Mon, 2007-01-01 23:52.

Thank Scotty555 and Challis for the kind advice.

I will remember your opinion.

But I still don't know how to stop going to casino with my free will.

Maybe money is not important. Just I really don't understand myself.

I think this is a process of self-destruction.

How many people dying and becoming desperate everyday by casino and gambling! But the government still never think seriously. They just are interested in making money like extra money without any effort. Maybe the government is gambling with the future of the nation. Anyway to stop is the best way to me as a compulsive gambler.

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there was a poster here
Submitted by challis on Wed, 2007-01-03 04:20.

there was a poster here called ravisher,he,d worked in casinos for 20 odd years and from reading his posts its clear that gambling affects those who work for the casino as much as us mug punters on the other side of the table.the thought of the last win drives us zombie like to put more in to get that same feeling again,your doctor might prescribe medication that can get you onto a more even state of mind,so as to see what damage you are doing to all around you.it helped me,but its still a skill to look after ourselves,thats why we can all learn from each others experince in this war zone of burnt out gamblers that come here...apocolypse now....the horror the horror


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