Just a quick introduction about me. I posted in the "a lot of people are viewing but not replying" thread started by Stacey as my first post, but this is my "official" post I guess you could say, lol.
My name is Dan, I am 32, single, self-employed and I have a problem with gambling! It all hit the fan last Thursday night/Friday morning June 8/9 (it was around midnight when I realized what I had done, plus the fact the Miami Heat didn't cover the spread and the Mavs didn't go over.) The worst possible scenario played out in that game, and that I believe was the best thing to happen to me, and I truly hope...a major blessing in disguise.
My breaking point was that day. I had it all set up to where I would once again, break even and beat the system, even after all my idiotic things I had done. My worst problem was and still is the internet blackjack that was on this sportsbook. I was very conservative with my bets as far as the sports was, but I would go into this blackjack and become a crazy person. Here I sweated out a $5 parlay that would win me $240 if this team would win...and they did!! Woo-hoo....I'll just go the blackjack table, place a $5 bet and make the $245, $250. Then I'll leave. Mind you I had done this numerous times in the past, and EVERY time I said, that is it, no more blackjack. I can control and handle the sports betting (and in fact I won regularly with sports betting), and then I would lose it all in the blackjack. So back to last week...Next thing I know...I have $500 somehow. Ok, leave!! Within literally 2 minutes...all gone. Ok, put more money in....gone. Put more in, dammit....I can beat you, you guys owe me. Gone. Ok do it again....$100. Just do $100 and you have a 50/50 chance of doubling that. After much sweating, it hit a blackjack...wow. $210....I got it to a little over $900! Next thing I know...THAT is all gone. So now I really had to figure out something here as I had a sure $200 with some sports betting I had already won a few parlays already. Maybe I can hedge my bet so it will work out (I had done this many times, but never more than $5 or $10). I'll bet $150 here and there on the Heat as I already have the Mavs this way. Ok add some more money, even though I'll go negative...I'll win and cash out and have enough to cover by the time it shows in my account on Monday. Just do Mavs win over/Mavs win under and do $200 each. I'll get the $200 initial bet back plus $500....cool. Let's try the Blackjack now, since I have $400....I can get another $50 or so...make those two bets and still have $50 left!! Minutes later...gone. Oh crap I didn't bet the Mavs and the game started.
So I obviously had to "chase" and break even, and bet money I didn't have. As ridiculous as that scenario was in the last paragraph, had I not gone to the well (blackjack) one more time, I would have done what I said and at least only been $50 or $100 under and I could have once again come up with that and saved my sorry butt once more. You know, there is a reason I did that and the game ended as it did...and I am happy as hell it did. So my bank account is in the negative of about $1500 and I've had NSF fees and return fees hit me this week. I prepared for it, but it still sucks and hurts when you look at it. The next two days will be the toughest as either Friday or Monday, I will have enough in my account to cover all of that and the few hundred I still owe an online sportsbook/casino. Yeah, how is that possible to do? Well I had to cash out my whole IRA which was around $5000....which is pretty pathetic. The one positive in all this, is that it is my money, it isn't like I have to borrow it from someone and then owe them money which puts me right back at where I was. Hey I can do the quick fix here, and win a couple parlays and boom, they have it all back and then some....geez, looking at it now, what a moron!! Anyhow the IRA hasn't done crap since I put it in back in 2000 or 2001 and I will add back into it, so I'm actually not that worried that I had to do this. I have realized how utterly stupid it is, and that you know what Dan, this is a big-time problem.
To think it all innocently started with wanting to learn how to play Texas Hold-em better (on a free internet site no less), and being able to place a bet on a game that I KNEW this team was going to win (as that is my line of business in fact, I have a sports memorabilia business) and that happened so many times in the past...why not be able to benefit from it?? I would only do it with football and certain hoops games....but I'll say that by last week I was betting on hockey, soccer, the WNBA...the WNBA???!?!?? Good Lord...anyways, this last day with the first game of the NBA finals was it. When that game was over and I realized I hadn't come close to breaking even....I had this overwhelming feeling of fear/worry/anxiety, you name it, I never had before. I wasn't going to be bailed out this time....and that was the best thing to happen.
This will stop the bleeding and enable me to pay back my parents and pay upcoming bills. This was my wake-up call and bottoming out point, and I think I'm lucky in that I haven't had worse. I'm sure it won't be easy, but if I have others to talk to and read about (all your stories have definitely hit home), then there is no reason I can't stop this. The one thing about me in the past has been, when I am up against a do/die situation...I stop whatever the die situation would be. I am too scared, and that is exactly what has happened. I know it isn't much but I haven't bet since the 9th and each day that urge/desire lessens. In fact, I haven't even entered the two sites I am still a member with (and I had put $5 on a future prop on the Hopkins/Tarver fight Saturday and wouldn't you know, Hopkins won...so I actually have like $30 in there, lol!) I have futures on football that could pay off real handsomely come fall. If I win, I could care less. I told my mom, if I do win, you can go in and cash out and take the money or give it to charity....I don't want it. I don't want to be tempted, etc. I deleted everything on my computer that even remotely resembles gambling. I even deleted the free poker site. I deleted all my cache, cookies, internet history...I threw away this betting book I was using to keep track of current and future bets and lastly I deleted the phone # from the main sportsbook I used. Almost immediately I felt a different sensation inside me. Hard to explain to people, but maybe some of you know what I am talking about. I've felt that different, almost cleansing feeling each day now since. I know it hasn't been that long, not even a week yet, but I truly feel something different inside me. I know that this can't be done totally on my own, and I do believe in God and asked him to help me and with His help, my own help and others like yourselves (and I would love to help others as well)...I am NOT going to gamble ever again. Day 5 and counting Dan
WOWWWWZA...you had a tale to tell......
I'm so happy for you.... I firmly believe the personality that gets us into this mess is the same that gets us out....we're strong, we're confident, we're smart, we think we can beat the system..we figure it out (eventually) we can't, and most importantly we stop....
GOD SPEED TO YOU!!