Time, energy, forgiveness


Hello everyone,

I hope you're having a great weekend. I just wanted to share a few things with everyone. If you agree or disagree, it's all good.

First, I believe that nobody is perfect. NO ONE. Each time we make a mistake, do we berate and criticize ourselves or do we accept our mistakes and learn from them. Before, I used to criticize myself and told myself how stupid, undesrving I was. But now, having accepted myself as a human being and imperfect, I've accepted mistakes (relapses for some of us) as part of the learning process. I've found that each time I criticized myself, I ended up criticizing other people. This slowly came to an end when I accepted myself, warts and all. Through this, I was also able to accept people for who they are. I no longer feel the need to criticize or condemn other people. I'm not perfect, so why should I expect other people to be? Big Grin

The other thing I've learned to use to keep me happy is time management. There are 24 hours in a day. We can get a lot done in 24 hours. What I've been doing is trying to plan how I will spend each hour of my life. This helps me from going astray. At the end of the day, I feel happy that I've been able to accomplish my goals and I've done the things I wanted to do. It also builds confidence.

The other thing that has worked for me is to try avoid the past. All that money we've lost is gone, forever. WE'll never make it back, so I've accepted it. When I think, I think about the present, not the past for future. But what I want to do in the now. I think it's true that our focus determines our reality. As compulsive gamblers we were worried about the past and future and often neglected the present, the most important time frame.

Again, it's been a slow process but I've been able to accept myself for the person I'm, warts and all. I've also been able to accept other people for who they are, warts and all. No one's perfect.

Forgive yourself.

Sunday May 15, 2005
04:14 PM EDT

I agree 100% will all your thoughts. What I feel in your words Honesty is a person that is developing wisdom, seeing the important things that connect you to your spirit and most of all as the name suggests being honest. When I read things like this it gives me great hope and joy.

Murrayff

Murrayff,

Thank-you for those kind words. I think everyone here is on the same journey. I just want to see everyone succeed because as compulsive gamblers, we have gone through a lot. We deserve to be happy and achieve our goals in life.

Yes, yes, yes. I have accepted that I'm not perfect and will never be perfect. I was watching Larry King live last month. There was a Christian, Muslim, Catholic and Jew on the panel. Larry asked one of them, "How will we know we'll be good enough to go to Heaven?"

One of them answered (I'm paraprhasing), "What is the passing grade to get into Heaven? How do we know if we've been good or bad? The passing grade to get into Heaven could be 65% or 80% or some other number. Nobody really knows.It depends on god. But if we live our life to the best of our ability and we're good the majority of the time, we'll get into Heaven. I'm sure the passing grade for Heaven isn't 100%, though."

I would say that I'm good a large majority of the time. I'm sure other compulsive gamblers are also good the large majority of the time. But by gambling, we harm other people and that takes away some of the good we've done. Gambling and the effects of gambling, takes our ability to be good most of the time. That's one reason I'm trying my best to stop gambling. I won't say that I'll never, ever gamble again but I'll try my best not to gamble again.

The most useful tool I've learned is DON'T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. I'm human, I'm allowed to make mistakes. I learn from them and move on. I'm not perfect but if I learn from my mistakes, I can increase my ability to do good to myself and others.