I screwed up again

I broke..I am so screwed up. I was doing well and then I went back. Why do I do this!!!!!

Thursday February 03, 2005
11:43 PM EST


Because you are a person who is suffering from an emotional addictive insidious mental disease. And as much as you want to stop and get better, you still cant accept that you can not gamble in any sort of manner what so ever. This is our addiction and until you find a way to get help and support other than online groups.. you are going to have trouble with relapsing and going back to gambling. I know you dont want to hear this, neither did I when I was so deep into gambling and suffering from being broke all the time and hoping that the next time will be different.. it is never going to be different, until u get the help to stay in recovery.

Every slip can and should be a reminder and a learning experience that gets us closer to finding what will work to keep us from making that next bet.. I do hope that you get mad, not at yourself, but at this addiction and come back fighting strong to keep working harder at not gambling again.. It doesnt happen over night.. we have to slowly deprogram our way of thinking, change our lifestyles and keep an open mind, be honest and willing to take that next step to work at making sure we stop having relapses..You are going thru what I and everyone else here has gone thru.. so, get back up and start again.. you are smarter today, then you were yesteday.. You can do this.. get your support in hand, call someone, make the next step.. take care of yourself.. Hugs, Audrey

Audrey...I feel so foolish. I really thought I was on y way. I have to analyze why I did this. I will dust myself off...God I hate this thing!!! URRRRRRRRRRR!

Thank you for your help. I feel like this is my one refuge. My head is just spinning.

Well, now I will start again. Talk with you on Friday.

You are the best!


One thing Scotty, this is not your only refuge.. remember that! Ok? Hugs, lilaud


Chinup Scotty, yopu busted but at least you did not let turn into a full blown 5 week splurge mate.

You came on here and put your hand up. Still feel that disapoitment mate and use it for motivation the next time you are at the cross roads.

The other thing Scotty, get hold of any of us send a bulk email, private someone, espeacially just as you want to walk out that door made...

With a good attitude you will make it...

Take care

Feeling good,Lucky? Go Reward yourself...By NOT Gambling, go spend $5 on yourself in a shop,dont forget to read my blog at http://www.lostwallets.blogspot.com


To all my friends out there...I am back on the horse. Just as Rob says, don't let one mistake (although a rather LARGE one) stop you.

I will make this yet another piece of evidence of how unhappy gambling makes you. The money I BLEW last night can be a lesson for anyone else tempted to FALL OFF THE WAGON.

The moment you get the urge...come back and read this post. This is how you'll feel when you come back to your senses...just walk away, don't do it. IT JUST SUCKS!

Talk to you all this weekeend. I am placing game block on my computer NOW. (gamblock.com)




Just to confirm...Gamblock.com is great. It really works. It shuts down the internet the moment you try to go to an internet site.

This is a good tool. I am sure this will help me. I suggest you try it if your affliction has to do with internet gambling.

I feel better already!




Scotty, You weren't the only one to screw up yesterday on the net. I did too. I was doing so well also..4 days then I blew it. It just reaffirmed to me too that family will not necessarily stop you. My husband saw me playing. At first I was going to tell him it was "play" $ (not real), but, the truth was when I went to the site they had given me a bonus and I played with that. I told him they gave me $ (which sounds like bs to me) and he didn't even question it. So, no safeguards there.

I'm still struggling to put Gamblock on. I know I will do this eventually, but I'm having trouble finding the courage to do it. I don't want to think this, but maybe the next time it's my real $ that will push me over the edge and get it on.


Take the positives out of it, list them down on paper and try and build on what else could you of done.(saying no is not enough sometimes as some have realised)you need actions in place so it takes several barriers to be broken before you can gamble.

As long as we learn from our mistakes we can move forward Zoe. All the best



Zoe...get the courage to put the Gamblock on. It will be that one extra barrier. This is one tool those internet gambling companies DO NOT want you to use. Use your hard earned cash to treat yourself to a movie, ice cream, new jogging shoes.

I have used that Bonus story with my wife. It starts out cool, but then I always end up using my real money.

Really...for us, gambling is never cool, no matter what money you use. It is a behavior problem...it has to be stopped like an ugly monster.

Well I am back to one full day! Onward and upward!



Me Too!

I was struggling all day yesterday at work. I checked the site several times and no new posts, I started to think about stopping on the way home. Got my tax return and it started messing with me right away. Money is definitely a trigger!!

I didn't do any considerable damage, thank God. I wasn't feeling hell bent on destruction just for today. The thing is I didn't really enjoy myself all that much either. This happened to me toward the end of my drug addiction too. Used to be when I gambled it truly blocked everything out. Now I find myself unable to block out the things that I am trying to escape from. It gives me hope because it brings me closer to surrender.

I am just greatful it didn't turn into an all weekend binge. I have plans for tomorrow with a friend so I am safe. I thank God that I have not gotten into the on line thing. I have to actually leave the house which at least brings more thinking to the forfront.

Thanks all for being here.....Hang in there!!


Good Job on actually following through with installing the gambleblock... I can see how it would be very hard to resist just going to a website. Thank God I never went that direction!


Just read this post again...I can see the frustration I had back then. Thank God I installed Gamblock...it has totally helped my family. We are 1000% happier now.

As a limo driver I run into gamblers everyday. One guy I spoke with yesterday had lost $40,000! He must be super rich becuase he gave me a $100 tip...I used it for flowers and pizza...thank you!



Good to hear Scotty
Every day away from gambling is a step we all need to celebrate...every day
Take care,