I had a relapse


uma:
made it three days gambling free and then I rationalized one bet which turned to more and now a three day binge. I Have lost the little money I managed to save. Feeling quite shameful. Help.

Sunday April 23, 2006
02:06 PM EDT

scottish_bhoy:
hi guys

My name is mark and i am a compulsive Gambler.I read your posts with lots of identification as i have been in both positions.
But the fact of the matter is we can hold on to pay receipts and talk of being strong and determined etc...but if we dont attempt to change and seek help from people who are or have been in the same situation,then a chance of a beneficial recovery is not going to happen

I went to Gamblers Anonymous and indentified right away with others chatting telling there story of gambling,not being able to stop once started and strong resolves to never gamble again being broken amd we go back to the financial hell...and the worse part.The mental torture of shame,guilt,self loathing,self pity,mood swings,tears and depression.

I thouught i would stop going to Gamblers Anonymous "it should be ok from now on" i thought.. cut to
Sat 14th April..i logged on(did not put Gamblock on new laptop.went to a poker room and spent 14000 uk pounds 25000 us dollars in 12 hours.
Una and Art i was back in hell having spent the deposit money i had for a new apartment.

I need to let that go now.I am back at Gamblers Anonymous as i need to be with like minded people.I am every bit as clever as the next person but my own thinking got me in the situation(s) i find myself in once more.
and as much as i love online hlp,forums etc...you cannot beat the live show.
I wish you both well and i know how crap it feels.....but believe me when i say,self will and youre own "i wont do that again's" will not keep you long from a bet.
all the best

Mark

art:
Hey Mark,

We definitely have something in common - big losses! Eek! Just kidding - any money lost gambling when there is an adddiction present is huge. It is good to hear of your committment to quitting with the online forums and Gamblers Anonymous. I believe that Gamblers Anonymous has a strong impact and helps many become successful. At the same time, let's not forget that anything in life is possible. I am 100% confident that I can stop gambling without Gamblers Anonymous - different things work for different people. The power of self will is attributed to people beating cancer, having super human strength in emergencies, and all sorts of amazing things. It inspires me to know that I can achieve anything if I set my mind to it. Also, even with all of the Gamblers Anonymous in the world, without self will, there is no quitting.

The world is a much better place with Gamblers Anonymous. The world is also a much better place when we decide to make changes in our lives that bring better living and happiness into each day.

challis:
wow is my first thought hearing of your losses,how much punishment a gambler can bear is in the extreme.were else other than being stoned to death , and then fed to lions do people expose themselves to such loss !thanks for sharing your story as it reminds me how far down i myself could go if i have a bet.all this celebrity poker hype is doing is softening people up for the casino mincer.makes war look easy.

f you are recovering while in a state of low available funds then you have not really accomplished anything.

I am a very sane person when I am broke. Ask me how I am doing the next time I get paid. For 8 years I have not made it one paycheck without going to a casino as soon as the funds were available.

Then my typical pattern has been to be sane again for another 13 days until the next payday. Unless I won then it keeps extending until I lose it all.

If you can sit with some extra cash in your bank account and not gamble then you have accompished something.

moe11

 

You are so right. I am trying to see it that each day there is money in my account and I haven't gone to the casino. I am on day 14 - boy what a struggle. I even dreamed last night about a big when and was sure when I woke up I should go. Instead I went outside and did some gardening. It seems to be working so far

Hawk

Hawk - Actually with my bank debit card and I am sure I could overdraw my account by another $200 or so and go tonight or this weekend. At least I have enough control to not do that.

My test will be on the 16th when I get paid again. If History repeats then I will go up there with $60 since I had not gone in almost 2 weeks thinking $60 and I am out. It never works. $60 can turn into $600 very easy. And if I do win then I will just keep going back until its all gone.

14 days is good. Please let me know how its comming along. I see many posters on here who vanish and its probably because they started going again. Perhaps we can be the ones who get our lives back. Or create new ones if thats not possible.

One thing I have learned about gambling - it can always get worse. I have been to rock bottom, passed it and kept going. I have hit depths in financial losses and stress that I never knew existed.

Moe11

I am trying to visit the site every day. Today I REALLY wanted to go to the casino. I had a few bucks in my wallet. I make myself look at my credit card bills and bank statements. A family memeber called me to go with her and for the first time, I actually said NO. It is a first step. How are you doing?

hawk

 

Congrats is in order! A huge victory for Hawk! That is really great!!! Give yourself a big pat on the back and remeber how good it feels to say no next time...great! Single days make a cherished life...

art

 

Quote by: hawk] I am trying to visit the site every day. Today I REALLY wanted to go to the casino. I had a few bucks in my wallet. I make myself look at my credit card bills and bank statements. A family memeber called me to go with her and for the first time, I actually said NO. It is a first step. How are you doing?

I get invitations from the Mother.

I actually am safe until the 15th as I currently have no money.

Art - You slipped but you are back on. Have to keep at it.

 

Moe11

Thanks Moe! Its on like donkey kong! You with me? I just kicked day 3s @ss! Had tremndous pressure in my life today and am totally freaked. HOWEVER, drove right past the Bellagio where there is many smiles, great live music, drinks flowing like the Niagra, and over $3 million played daily! To quote my good friend, "what gambling?"...

Our next day of re-claiming freedom is approaching quickly...Everyone who goes Tuesday (or May 9th) without gambling submit a message on this post, it'll be fun. Anybody who reads this and does gamble, challenge the rest of us for Wed.

We've got to do this guys, its our victory for the taking!

Art

ol... can't beat Arts enthusiasm! :D Congrats to everyone that made it through this day, myself included.
Take care,
Shelley :D

Wednesday May 10, 2006
01:30 AM EDT