Compulsive gambler who really needs help and support


prokopton's picture

dw:
Hello,

I've been a compulsive gambler for upwards of 17 years now and I'm not even thirty. This is the worst addiction I can imagine. I've lost everything because of it. Relationships, trust, and lots and lots of money are front and center issues that have plagued me all of my life due to gambling. Last night was my absolute rock bottom. I lost my entire paycheck playing poker and stayed up until every penny was lost-until about 3am. I only ran to the poker room after losing 300 dollars online. I was so enraged by the way I lost my compulsive ego went straight for the land based poker room. In the process, my fiance has called off our wedding and I am crushed to pieces because of it. To be honest though, my entire relationship with her was based on lies all revolved around gambling. Nothing was true or real other than the fact that I would lie to her constantly about where I was and where my money was going. Its amazing she put up with it for so long. Anyway, I'm in a very bad place right now and need major support. I went to rehab two summers ago but started gambling again days after being released. Despite my wealth of education, gambling has always outwitted my supposed smarts and left me with nothing. I want to get better-please help if you have been through this before. Thank you

DW

nomorepokies:
Hi the DW. Man I really feel for you,I was in your very shoes at your age. I did go ahead and get married and still I lost it all. As outrageous as it sounds this is a good thing for you.The marriage would NOT have lasted a year in the state you are in pal.

Congratulations for finding your way here.I know the low of lowest feelings you have right now, they will not last forever but should be a reminder every day.

My best advice for now is to fess up to everything everywhere.Be honest with people you owe to, etc they will respect the truth as late as it may be. Take stock, a day or so without flogging yourself, that gets us no where but back gambling,all the guilk trips and have a good read through this board.Stuff we were saying 3 weeks ago to someone who walked in having blown it, with 3 weeks up now,Just one day at a time.

The help is here, the support, and the soapbox as well.It is up to you mate

All the best

Rob

Princess:
I'm really glad you found this place. Support is really crucial even if it is just online for the time being. The fact that you have thought about suicide does not make you stupid. I'm sure most if not all of us have also had suicidal thoughts. It's not easy but I am living proof that there is hope. (see my post it is possible instead of me typing it again here) I think it is such a hard addiction to break because there is no chemical that we can be detoxed from like with drugs or alcohol. It is a natural high that we get in the brain. One thing that I've found helpful is doing other things to get that high (ie bungie jumping, sky diving, roller coasters, etc) I'm not saying that I've done all of these but they are just suggestions to help get that rush that comes from gambling without going out again.

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nomorpokies:
Well done guys
Laughing Out Loud, good to see you chatting, there is no need to stop participating in life.Especialy early in recovery.Money will be something to be afraid of and naturally you really have to have it taken out of your own hands.Others only have to know as much or as little as you want but the more honest you are the more help ou get I reckon.

Just be sure they are not a gambler in disguise too though.We are an artful bunch...lol Having no money removes the immediate threat of being able to gamble.The next closest thing is thinking about money that is coming to go gamble so that needs to be tightened up, NO sneaking money to come your way.

I dont see this as being treated like a child but more like someone who is ill and has a disease. We dont but them tobacco for christmas..

Stay tuned and see what can be achieved,I have for 28 months now after battling for 20 years with this addiction.Life is good I am just addicted to the internet now...hahaha

Burt that is OK! I dont watch the idiot box for 10 hours a day either,I am on here typing away madly 2 fingers at a time.

Cheers

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Gravel Gerty
Greetings dear brothers and sisters, I am Gerty and I am a compulsive gambler'er in recovery.LDG(Last Date Gambled) January 14,2004. A very long trail left behind, with a few breadcrumbs dropped along the way so that maybe someone may find their way as I have.

((((Dan)))), you are travelling at the speed of LIFEand it is all very overwhelming in the present moment. This is a place where we all have began our journey to sanity, you are not unique nor alone, you are a compulsive gambler, it is a disease, it cannot be cured BUT it can be contained. The only one that can do that is YOU.

Imagine that. I know you feel very much out of control, but you are the only one that can say enough is enough, surrender.

That is the very first step of your recovery path. There are the classic "20 Questions" that may help you see that you are a compulsive gambler. The 1'st step in Gamblers Anonymous is admiting that your life is unmanagable. I think the hardest thing for me initially was to think about never gambling again, ever...that's where one day at a time set in, what a relief it was to just be in the moment.

Dan relief from the compulsion is possible,call anyone, talk to someone,call your local Crisis Intervention,Gamblers Anonymous office, check website for local numbers. Surrender my friend and feel the awesome release of all that you have beared , just for this moment.

There are hundreds of thousands of souls, that are all going through the same thing as I type, we all end up here one time or another. We all have the power to help ourselves, with steps, and honesty, and a little faith in something or someone that is greater than ourselves. Allow yourself to be carried for a bit my dear Brother.

I am new to this board, but I see that there are those here that have more time in recovery than I, perhaps they can assist you in chat?

I have a year in, but am not Gamblers Anonymous,per se, so do not feel qualified in counseling you. I have all the material from Gamblers Anonymous and embrace the principles, and know that it works.

So reach out young man, there is hope for you. You have so much to go through, but it is all possible, through one day at a time, and if it has to be one moment at a time, so be it. Talk it out, to all and any who will hear you. Blessing be to you and all those who are suffering. YSIR Gerty