Honesty is an important part in gambling recovery


Art - there are a rare few that can make money in certain gambling games like Poker and sometimes blackjack. Lets face it - thats not us. Just because you play basketball does not mean you are good enough for the NBA.

Part of this I think is realizing what kind of person you are and that self control is a problem when gambling is invlolved. If I left the Casino whenever that little voice in my head was telling me to go ( you know what I mean? - the voice of reason ). My losses would not be very much.

Quit honestly I cannot control myself in a casino and I am getting sick of trying. I just cannot walk out when I should and the temptations of the ATM machines are too great.
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This to is also my first post. I have been gambling for many years as well. Since I was 18, I am now 40. I use to think it was fun. Now because of my addiction we could lose everything.

My family does not know this yet. And I know if I tell them I could lose my family as well.

My husband found out before and stood beside me. Like an idoit once we were out of debt, a few months later I was back at it. Now, we are once again in debt, worse than before and I do not know how to tell anyone. I fear that my husband will leave me and my children will hate me.
Every time I lost the money, I just figured I could win it back. I have a big problem and realize that I really need help. I tried it on my own and failed.

On my way home tonight (after gambling and loosing it all) I realized for the first time that I have a major problem. I searched the internet until I found this site. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I NEED HELP!

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Shell - yes you have a problem but things are not as bad as they seem right now. Things always seem the worst right after a gambling binge. Once the clouds clear you will find a way. I don't know what type of debt you have - credit card? Loans? Those can be paid off. Payment plans can be reached.

I would not think your family is going to leave you but they will probably want some assurances that you are serious about stopping and getting things under control. It is a disease. There definetly is a physical as well as mental aspect to it. Here I am 1:40am - should be in bed have to work tomorrow. At least I am not in a Casino.

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Hello Shelldolb,
You should be proud that you are taking the first step to recovery. Seeking help.

I am not a compulsive gambler; I am the mother of a 25 year old son who is. So my perspective is not from that of a gambler. I have tried to learn all I can about this horrible addiction, and am still learning. My son started gambling when he was 17. The last 2-3 years have been a nightmare. But, his father and I have stood beside him, trying to help him. My son has been going through treatment at the Problem Gambling Center, and also attends Gamblers Anonymous meetings every evening he is not at the center. He has came a long way. But the journey does not end. He continues to battle this. I have came to realize that he will not be miraculously healed overnight. Each step is a positive step in the right direction. He is moving up the ladder now, and not down, and that is good.

So, you have to start taking the steps to start to climb up. I would suggest that the next step that you take is to be honest with your family. Honesty is very important in recovery. You may wish to find information on this addiction, and show your family as you discuss this with them. There is alot of information on the internet. Here are some places to look: www.gamblersanonymous.org, www.ncpgambling.org, www.aswexler.com, www.lostbet.com, www.compulsivegambler.blogspot.com.

The next step would be to seek help from others. The Gamblers Anonymous program has helped alot of people. I hope you can find meetings in your area. If your husband attends Gam Anon meetings, it would really help him also. At first I was skeptical of these meetings. Until I attended my first meeting. I then saw what a great group of people they are. It takes time, and a commitment to the program, but you can find help here.

Your family will not hate you. It is a learning experience for all. You will learn that this is a disease; one that can be treated. I believe that most people going through this one day find they have better, more fulfilling lives after they have control over this than they had before.

I wish you the very best. There are alot of good people here that will help you.

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Jane - thanks for posting that. I would imagine you people with families have assets that you could be using. If they are upset at least they care. I can go out right now and no one would care or even notice.

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Moe and Jane, thank you both for replying. I appreciate all the support and information. Moe, thanks for reminding me that the debts can be paid off.
I am just so frustrated with myself. My husband works very hard for the money and I feel real bad about the money I have wasted when I know it can go towards better things.
I am determined to win this fight. Please be patient with me, you will probably be hearing a lot from me.
I didn't get much sleep last night, trying to figure out how to replace the money I lost. I am going to make a couple of calls this morning and see if there are any Gamblers Anonymous programs in my area, or close for me to go to. I definately understand the emotional and mental aspect of this disease. I never really thought of it as a disease until you mentioned it. Just so you know, I care. Maybe we can help each other through this.

Jane. Thank you for the advice from a families point of view. I know that this is not going to be easy on any of us. My husband is an alcholic (sober for 12 years now). I know how hard it was when he first stopped drinking. I also know that honesty is very important. I am just not ready to tell him yet. I feel that I need to get some things together first. My first step was finding this site, I want to attend a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. I also will do as you suggested and get some information on gambling. Not just for my family, but for me as well. I need to understand why I can't control myself in regards to this issue before I try to explain it to my family. Thanks.
Shell