Boyfriend has an online poker problem


I've just moved in with my boyfriend and realize that he is addicted to online poker. All of his free time is spent playing on the internet. He's already lost over $1000, but considers this an education... like spending money on college. He ignores me and his 2 small kids when he's home, because he plays at least 6 hrs a day. I don't want to be the nagging girlfriend, but I am so tired of this. I'd rather him ignore me for his kids. They are upset too, but it doesn't seem to matter. He asked me if I thought that he had a problem, and I told him yes. Afterwards, he sneaks back to the living room to continue this addiction. I'm not sure the best way to handle this. If I get real mad, he says that I have an attitude. I feel like I am walking on eggshells....

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This is so hard because when a gambler is in the grips of compulsive gambling no one from the outside world can penetrate their little utopia. Other than removing the computer from the house or disconnecting the internet there really isn't much you can do until he realizes HE has a PROBLEM. If he is not careful this "education" will cost him his family. I wish I had some words of encouragement or something you can do but it has to come from him.

Many people (like myself) don't stop until they have hit rock bottom which means the family, house and friends are all gone. You may want to sit him down and speak very frankly about his addiction and if this doesn't work you will have to protect yourself and the children because compulsive gamblers (like myself) will stop at nothing to continue their fantasy life. I wish you the best.

Paul

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Thanks for your reply! We've already had a few discussions and I realize that there's really nothing I can do. I just find other things to do while he is gambling, without complaining. The kids are making comments to him, so I hope that eventually it gets through. I did realize that his problem makes me realize my need for attention. That's something that I need to deal with as well. I just pray that he realizes all the sacrifices he's making right now for the "rush" and the possibility of earning back all the money he's lost in this game. For now, I'm just going to concentrate on myself!

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nopepper:
Hi, i can understand where your boyfriend is coming from because when playing online poker you are lead to believe that the more you play the better you will get. That is why he feels he his paying for an education. Does he have an addictive personality? Does he gamble on anything else?

Poker in itself can be profitbale if you can approach it correeclty and with the coreect attitude. However, if he is a gambler at heart (like myself) poker will suck you dry like no other.

My suggestion is two fold..

1) If possible I would block all sites from his internet browser and change the admin password. This may cause a serious confronation.

2) Ask him to come on here and read some stories. I can talk to him if you like, it can only help.

This is my first step towards recovery. I am hoping that if I can help others quit, it will in turn help myself get out of the loop.

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support

Joined: 24 Jul 2006

Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:51 am Post subject: Online Gambling Addiction Help
Hello,

I am the founder of www.problempoker.com, a problem gambling advocacy group. Our goal is to encourage responsible gambling and help individuals stop gambling online. We started a voluntary self-exclusion program, whereby we prevent individuals from accessing online gambling web sites by filtering their existing web connection. The individual are not able to remove our filter, and it guards their computer from content providing online wagering activities. Please take the opportunity to look at our site, and feel free to email me back with any comments or criticisms.

Thanks you for your time.

www.problempoker.com

My fiance has not gambled for almost a year, I think he now has another addiction. ›
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boyfriend with online poker addiction
By blurugret - Posted on January 9th, 2007

I am also in a relationship with a man with an online poker addiction. It has been so incredibly painful. He has lost over $100K. He knows it is a problem and is in the beginning stages of getting help. He has had a couple relapses and that has been enough for me. I told him recently that this was it. I can no longer continue if he relapses again and that I will leave the relationship if he relapses. I feel confident about my decision. I suggest that you figure out what is best for you in your life. Once you do that, make it very clear to him what your limits and boundaries are and then prepare yourself to stick by what you say. It is painful and hard but what I have experienced is that once I got to that point of "no more", if I have to follow through with my ultimatums then I can do it, because it is My life and it is HIS problem. I know that it is so stressful and troubling. I cannot imagine what it is like with children involved. Can you point out to him how his actions are affecting the children. Are his actions putting him at risk of loosing the children? If yes, then make it very clear that it is his actions that are causing the problems in the family and that is not acceptable and then point out what you are going to do for yourself. I wish you the best of luck.

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Boyfriend with a gambling problem
By skrush - Posted on March 27th, 2007

I can't really believe i'm actually at this point with his problem, that i'm writing in online forums you know? haha, but I feel both of your pain. He started playing online poker about 2 years ago and he's not legal to gamble yet (except for Tampa that is) so online poker is his life. He is a freshman in college and it's really creating problems with his education. He does realize that he needs an education, but he says school gets in the way of online playing. He will play for at least like 7 hours a day i'd say. It's frustrating to call him and never get a reply back to anything i say because he's busy playing, and if he does call back it's so late (like 6am). I really believe he can achieve what he wants (become a professional poker player) but i do not know how to show my support anymore, because anything i do goes un noticed! Please help!


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